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09:12pm 23/07/2010

add the new username
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01:53pm 18/07/2010

<b><u>Symptoms may include, but are not limited to:</u></b>
  • Traveling far distances
  • Traveling in packs
  • Spending all your money
  • Sleeping outside
  • Bouts of violence around sunset
  • Minor lack of personal hygiene 

See you in a month~
mood: excitedexcited
music: Amazing Horse Song
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so happy I could die  
09:57pm 16/07/2010
I can't fucking wait for them to come back

London is nothing now, it's all abt NY
mood: excitedexcited
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10:08am 16/07/2010
 Amy and I just had a ticket party in my room with Danielle on the phone x3

mood: excitedexcited
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(no subject)  
01:40pm 14/07/2010
August 23rd, Sound Academy, Toronto
August 24th, Nokia Theatre Times Square, New York
August 26th, Royale Boston, Boston
August 27th, Rams Head Live, Baltimore
August 28th, Electric Factory, Philadelphia
August 30th, Center Stage, Atlanta
August 31st, The Pegeant, St. Louis
September 1st, House of Blues, Chicago
September 2nd, First Avenue, Minneapolis
September 3rd, Slowdown, Omaha
September 4th, Ogden Theatre, Denver
September 5th, Sunshine Theatre, Albuquerque
September 7th, House of Blues, Las Vegas
September 8th, Club Nokia Live, Los Angeles
September 9th, Grand Ballroom & Regency Center, San Francisco
September 11th, Showbox SoDo, Seattle

Bring it, bitches
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oh my god  
01:15pm 14/07/2010
Call me crazy, stupid, lifless, whatever the fuck you want.
I'm going to London to see Dir en grey.
And as soon as I get back, I'm following them across the United States by any means possible.

mood: excitedexcited
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08:09pm 10/07/2010
I haven't updated in like...weeks lawl

Miyavi was fucking amazing. Danielle, Giulia, and I are fucking rock stars. And I got highfived by Myv. Yeaaaaah.

Lady GaGa was even awesomer. She came out to Dance in the Dark and as soon as I saw her I started crying. She made a bunch of little speech things, most of which made me all teary eyed. Then she played Paparazzi and I cried like a bitch omg. Everyone needs to see her one day, whether you like her or not.

I'm cleaning my room not only to get my shit together and start packing, but because Amy and Danielle are coming over this weekend. Yayayayayayayayay~!

but right now I have my period. I'm kinda happy I got it before London, but ohhhhmygoddd it's rly fucking bad this month. I can't even stand up straight. I hate you uterus. Why can't you be a normal uterus and do this once a month instead of whenever you feel like it? At least I'll be better prepared then >:...

back to cleaningggg

PS- Sugizo is a sexy BAMF <3. unf <3 <3 <3
mood: crampycrampy
music: Europa - Sugizo
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11:54pm 05/07/2010
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05:01pm 21/06/2010
Subject: To Toshiya-san

Recently I don't know what I want to do or what I should I do.
I can't even reach for what I want to do and aim for.
During these times what would Toshiya-san do?

Toshiya: That is desperation/self-abandonment. At those times either you spend it on not doing anything or try doing whatever, these 2 things right? But unfortunately I think that life is unfair.
But one thing is "struggling" during those times when they are limited is equal/the same for everyone, right? Even if you don't do anything, time will pass...I am returning a question. So, what will you do? (laughs)

That just made me like, idek. That person feels exactly how I do right now. In one way I ttly wish Toshiya's answer was different, but at the same time I'm 100% satisfied with the answer. Either way it just out me in this like...somber mood...

Subject: To Die-san

What does the heavy drinker Die-san recommend for snacks with alcohol?

Die: First of all I am not a heavy drinker. Jagariko Potato Salad

and then I read that
mood: tiredtired
music: 愛しさは腐敗につき - Dir en grey
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the fuuuck?  
07:58pm 15/06/2010
Why do I keep having Toshiya related dreams involving me somehow getting back stage/running into him at a bar?
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08:21pm 14/06/2010
I just unfollowed some girl on twitter that I've known since like elementary school.

The bitch has always annoyed me for mad long, she's just an attention seeking stupid idek what. I'm so tired of reading abt and having the mental images of her having sex and shit -A-. I think what pushed me over the edge was her claiming her ex is now "dating a whale to make her jealous because there's a difference between someone with curves like her than a fatty"


I'm sry but it RLY fucking annoys me when fat people say shit like that. UHHHHHHHHHHHHG

while we're on this topic, when people join facebook groups against people that describe them so well, I fucking lolllll. It makes me want to be a real bitch and comment "LOLOLOL" everytime :'D
mood: bitchybitchy
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lawwwl Kerrang  
04:39pm 11/06/2010

they can't even spell the band's name right :B
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11:24am 10/06/2010

I have my concert ticket! Hostel is booked! Plane to England is BOOKED! I'm set to go!! Just a few little things left!

Got my renewed licence. Finally doesn't have "UNDER 21" in big print across the damn thing.

Once I get back from London I really need to get back to work on cosplay stuff. I need to get my wig/gloves/shoes for my Miku cosplay still, and now I need to start supply shopping for my Neptune costume. Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahg~ Moneyyyyyy >:

mood: ecstaticecstatic
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(no subject)  
12:03pm 02/06/2010
so today I woke up at 9 o'clock and in the middle of a panic attack. I decided to call in, which I basically got told "I understand, but next time call sooner". W/e

I'm glad I took the day off. I need a me day, a day of not working, not hanging out with anyone. Just me and my dog. I'll probably take him to the dog park then hit up the gym or something.

but for now, I'm just gunna keep watching this dvd <3
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(no subject)  
01:49am 31/05/2010
haters gun haaaaate
gaters gun gaiiiiit
haiters gun haitiiiiiii

ilu allllllllll


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03:03pm 30/05/2010
Things are almost in order!
I got my ticket in the mail already, I'm booking the hostel tonight, and I'm sending Danielle the money for the plane tickets on Thursday. I'm psyched! All that's left to do after that is just a bunch of little things I've been wanting to do.

Yesterday I went to the Bronx Zoo with Beckie. We had funnnnn~. The first thing we saw were Zebras, so I was happy :'D! Unfortunately, we go there late because 1) the train schedule was weird because of the holiday weekend 2) the trains were 10 minutes DELAYED on top of the new schedule and 3) someone decided to jump in front of my train in Hicksville. Oh, and the subway was taking forever too. YAY~ but other than that, yesterday was fun~

Amy txt'd me on Thursday saying YesAsia had the DVD still, so I ordered it right away. It should be here Tuesday~! Yaaaaaaaaay~!

This past week was a rough week, thank god it's finally over. Here's hoping everything goes well from here on out.

Now, to try to relax~ I wish I was in California right now >:
mood: hopefulhopeful
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12:31pm 27/05/2010
So, I remembered I had a formspring and was reading through it, and I came across this question/answer.
For such a lovely girl, you are extremely hard on yourself regarding appearance. Where do you think this self-criticism comes from? (eg, critical family, mocked about height at school, etc) Btw DAMN, GIRL yes you are gorgeous. (~_^) by Vinushka

I'm sooo not lovely :X

I do have alot of insecurities though, and it's all because of people in middle school.
first of all, I live in a mostly hispanic/black neighborhood, to the point there were probably only 10 white people in my graduating class ((which was well near 1,0000)), so I was singled out for that.
ontop of that, I wasn't into rap and hiphop. My friend and I liked rock, metal, and anime since way back when, so we were freaks, satanist, etc. etc.

long story short, people judged me by that shit and were very mean to me no matter what I did. I'd be told how fat and ugly I was to my face, told I was a freak, people didn't like me because I worshiped the devil, etc. etc. And anytime I felt good about myself they'd shoot me down HARD.

I didn't realize until recently how badly these kids fucked with me :\. I'm very insecure about my weight and looks, I don't like to talk a lot unless I'm forced to, and I have issues expressing myself most of them time :\

I know I'll never NOT have insecurities because of this, and it's only recently I'm really understanding how much these kids fucked with my head to the point when I had the same gym class as most of them in highschool I risked flunking by never going instead of being in the same room as them.

But recently, the more I hang out with or talk to certain people, I almost feel like my confidence is starting to slowly build itself up. I used to have huge issues speaking my mind or telling people how I felt, going out and doing new things. Now, I feel more comfortable with a lot that I do, and find myself even speaking to new people a lot more willingly and open than I used to.

I still love my friends from high school, I could never picture my life with out them, but I feel like I've met and become closer with a new group of people. These new people understand EVERYTHING about me and why I do things, they don't always question why I'm so dedicated to a certain band or activity, they just accept it and support everything I do with it. They make me feel like I belong and that there really isn't anything wrong with me. I used to only be able to tell one person every little detail about me, and even then I was holding back. Now, I have a small group.

Amy, Janice, Danielle, Britty, Giulia, Beckie, Sara, Rioteh, Hosh, and everyone else. Thank you. Thank you so much for making me feel like I have real friends who I can truly open up to. I never want to lose you guys, you're the world to me.
mood: relaxedrelaxed
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reasons why this week fucking sucks  
11:32pm 26/05/2010
- came back home and back into the real world
- fucking broke until next Thursday
- my dvd order got fucked up. My life is shattered more than it should be
- my bird died
- work work work
- court date on friday for a speeding ticket from 2 YEARS AGO
- house drama
- I have to spend thursday morning at the DMV renewing my license I have no money for

I thought things were getting better, but I guess I was extreamly wrong. I want to curl up in a ball and cry util I fall asleep, and never wake up...
mood: depresseddepressed
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fucking shit  
04:56pm 24/05/2010
so I came home today expecting to have my DVD waiting for me
it's not here yet, so I went to see if I could track my package, and then I realized I never got the email saying it was shipped.

I just went onto CJapan to double check, and it doesn't even come up under my list of orders....

I ordered this DVD on my mom's card and gave her the money later because at the time my card was sucked dry and shit. If she fucked me over and canceled it or saw it didn't go through and didn't tell me, I'm going to scream. Literally sit there, scream and have a breakdown and cry and probably throw shit.

I'm more fucking serious than you think. I'm pissed to the point I already want to cry.
mood: pissed offpissed off
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stole this~  
09:48pm 23/05/2010

"You are darkness and moonlight and a sky full of stars. You're nocturnal, but not in a lonely way. You are the moment when an unbelievably good rock show goes into its third encore. Just when everyone starts to wonder if it's finally over, the band runs back on stage and starts another song. You are the time of night when everybody knows it's getting late, but nobody wants to go home. You are the smoke machines, still going strong, and the stage lights that make that smoke glow blue and red. You are the warm mass of people singing along in unison, the sweaty rockers, the guitar solo, and that split second when you could swear the lead singer looked in your direction. "

a quiz has never defined my life so perfectly...
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